Things I Wish I knew when I Planned my wedding
Roughly two years ago, I was planning my own wedding.
As the oldest in my family, it had been years since anyone close to us had gotten married—let alone planned a wedding from start to finish. I know just how overwhelming the process can be, especially if you’re doing it without a wedding planner.
After reflecting on everything I learned, I put together a list of Things I Wish I Knew—originally created for my little sister, but now I’m sharing it with you.
#1 - Consider What is your non-Negotiable?
So, what’s the one thing you have to have on your wedding day to make it feel truly special? Is it a specific church? A certain reception venue? Maybe a photographer whose style you absolutely love?
Whatever that non-negotiable is for you—start there. Book that first.
For me, it was the church. I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t feel right getting married anywhere else, so that was my first call. Their availability actually helped narrow down my wedding dates right away, which made the rest of the planning so much easier.
#2 - Reception Venues
I really wish I had known this before I started calling venues—Here are a few things that are super helpful to have ready before you reach out:
- A few possible dates or at least a general timeframe for your wedding
- A rough guest count (keep in mind catering is usually charged per person—typically at least $50 per head, plus about 20% gratuity on top of that)
- When you’re talking to venues, don’t forget to ask if you can decorate the day before. Being able to set up early made such a big difference for me and helped take a lot of the pressure off on the actual day!
#3 – Florals
Here’s what I wish I knew ahead of time when it came to flowers:
Don’t assume silk flowers are always the cheaper option—they’re not necessarily a big money-saver. If you’re going with live flowers (which I personally recommend—live blooms tend to photograph so much better), make sure they’re delivered at least 30 minutes before your photos start. You’ll want everything looking fresh and in place for those early shots. If you’re working with a florist, don’t be afraid to talk budget. They can often suggest ways to cut costs without sacrificing the overall look.
Thinking about preserving your bouquet? It’s totally doable, but plan ahead! Flower preservation usually costs around $400, and the company will need your flowers pretty quickly after the wedding. So it’s something you’ll want to schedule in advance.
#4 – Budget & DIY
Let’s be real—wedding budgets are hard. Creating one is stressful, overwhelming, and honestly, kind of a buzzkill when you just want to enjoy planning your big day. I totally get it. Looking back, here are a few things I wish I had considered when figuring out my budget:
- Know your priorities. Ask yourself: Where am I okay splurging a little? And where can I cut back? Not everything needs to be top-tier. Focus on what matters most to you, whether it’s the venue, the food, the dress, or the photos.
- DIY isn't always the money-saver you think it is. We decided to DIY our wedding favors—custom koozies. Sounds simple, right? Well… making 200 of them turned out to be super time-consuming and way more stressful than I expected. In hindsight, I would’ve happily paid the extra $1.50 each to have a shop print them. My time (and sanity) was worth more than that. So before diving into a DIY project, ask yourself: Will this really save me money? And even if it does—is it worth the effort?
- Don’t forget the little things. One big budgeting mistake I made? Forgetting the small stuff. Gifts for the bridal party and our moms totally slipped my mind, and those things add up quickly. I highly recommend setting aside a little cushion in your budget for those last-minute or unexpected expenses. You’ll be so glad you did.
Bottom line: Budgeting is a challenge, but with a little planning and a lot of honesty with yourself, you can make it work without losing your mind.
#5 - Something will go wrong...
Lastly—something will go wrong… and that’s totally okay.
I promise, no matter how carefully you plan, little things won’t go exactly as expected—and that doesn’t make your day any less amazing. During our ceremony, a baby cried. My makeup artist was running late. One of my bridesmaids had a last-minute ride issue. I even miscounted how many people needed hair and makeup. Oh—and my bustle broke during the reception! But you know what? None of it really mattered.
I was surrounded by the people I love most, and I got to marry my best friend. The day was still perfect, beautiful, joyful, and everything I could’ve hoped for. So if something goes a little off-script—take a breath, laugh it off, and keep going. You’re still getting married, and that’s what it’s all about.
If you have any doubt about it being ok...look at this candid from my own wedding as proof. Check out those smiles!